So usually when I can't sleep I just lie there repeating prayers from my childhood in my head, because that's what my mom and I used to do when I was little before bed. Now I must admit, praying is usually my last resort. First I try smoking (a stimulant, really genious), watching TV (which Im finding myself being less and less interested in lately) or popping some Tylenol PM (which leaves me groggy in the morning.. like a sleeping pill hangover).... So tonight I thought I would share a prayer, one that I have decided is my favorite, with all of you (with the hope that my eyes would get tired typing this)... Some may have heard it, some maybe not. It's called the St. Francis prayer and its in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions AA book.
"Lord, make me a channel of thy peace-that where there is hatred, I may bring love-that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness-that where there is discord, I may bring harmony-that where there is error, I may bring truth-that where there is doubt, I may bring faith-that where there is despair, I may bring hope-that where there are shadows, I may bring light-that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort that to be comforted-to understand, that to be understood-to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by giving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen.
Now here's the thing, I realize it is highly out of character for me to write about something so serious and a concept I've never been very comfortable with... but this prayer speaks to me because I've been trying to live my life this way for the past couple months because I never realized how truely selfish I actually was being.
And I promise something funny next time around. Good night all. Hopefully I will sleep now.
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